|To see you when I wake up|
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?
I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
I don't care if I sound pathetic, lame, or whatever. I move in 279 days and I cannot wait.
279 DAYS! ugh. Time can hurry up now.
|Last Thursday, I went to Los Angeles, California to see D. To call it "the best weekend of my life" would be an understatement. To recap; |
Thursday, we went to dinner and CVS to get band-aids [long story] Friday, we went to Huntington Beach and Universal Studios Horror Nights [Which was freakin' amazing, might I add.] Saturday, we went to the zoo too late, Olvera street, Whittier, the Santa Monica Pier, In-N-Out, the movies [Let Me In- horror movie], and Turnbull Canyon, and Sunday we actually went inside of the zoo, Hollywood, Sunset Strip, coffee with Deborah and carved a pumpkin! :D
Going TO LAX was soo intense. I was excited to the point of being obnoxious. I swear that was the longest plane ride of my life, but it was more than worth it.
Going FROM LAX was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Currently, my eyes are dry and bloodshot from crying for approximately 10 hours straight. I mean, that entire plane ride from LA to El Paso to Dallas was spent in uncontrollable sobs that didn't end until recently. I can't really even explain how I feel right now.. I miss D, I'm excited to move to CA, I miss D, I'm grateful that I got my perfect weekend, I miss D, I hate that I'm in Texas, and I miss D.
I can't even finish typing this because I'm going to cry.
|First, I haven't had a day off of work in over TWO WEEKS. I'm exhausted. This has made me irritable, irrational, and an all around bitch. I don't even want to talk about school...|
I stayed in bed this morning listening to "Like a Stone" by Audioslave until I absolutely HAD to get up. I don't want to talk to my friends- I'm a fucking TERRIBLE friend.
Chris Cornell? He's my new friend. He understands me.
Don't be rude- say hi.
I just want to go to California already.
I want to be with D already.
I want to be out of school already.
This moment calls for more Audioslave.
|She said she wanted to kill herself. |
I don't know what to do.
|I want to sleep for twenty-four hours straight. A whole day completely unconscious. There is no math in my dreams, there's no biology. Just words, thoughts, and actions- things I don't understand, but it's okay to not understand. There doesn't always need to be a reason for everything. Not every single problem has an answer. |
If we're being honest, I think that the real reason I don't like math and science is because I can't bullshit them. It's black and white, it's the answer or it isn't. I prefer essays and short answers and things that allow you to pretend to understand.
At the risk of sounding completely insane, I want to set the concept of math on fire.
I'm completely overwhelmed with school and work. I brought this on myself, so I'm not going to bitch too much, but stress doesn't do me any favors. Right now, I'm trying to remember what I'm supposed to be reading for Philosophy and attempting to create a realistic calendar to finish my math class. Oh, and it's not looking too great for my Bio lab this week. :/
One week until I go to LA.
I cannot wait. Freakin' exciting, y'all. D and I are going to Halloween Horror Night , the zoo, beach, etc. It's all I talk about here.
Aaaand now if you'll excuse me, it's time for class. :/